Lyrics to “Lullaby” by Tim Minchin
Sleep, little baby, sleep now, my love
The Milky Way's shining high up above
When you grow up you will learn all that stuff
But for now, close your eyes
Close your eyes...
Sleep, little baby, try not to squawk
Tomorrow and tomorrow, you'll learn how to walk,
To love and laugh, to totter and talk
But for now, beddy-byes
Your blanket's hand-knitted
With pure Angora wool
Your nappy is dry, and your tummy is full
Of enough antihistamine to chill out a bull
Yet still all this cringing
What more could you want for, I just cannot guess
You constantly complain to me; you should feel blessed
There are children in Africa starving to death
And you don't hear them whinging
What more can I do to put a stop to
This mind-numbing noise you are making?
Where is the line between "patting" and "hitting"?
When is rocking "rocking" and when is it "shaking"?
I don't know what else I can do to try and hush you
My heart says "I love you", but my brain's saying "Fuck you"
And hoping a child trafficker will abduct you
At least I will get a few hours in bed
I've shushed and I've cooed and I've even tried to sing
Oblah Di Oblah Dah in the exact voice of Ringo
Now all I have left is to hope that a dingo
Will sneak in and rip off your fat bitching head
Hush, little baby, don't say a word
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird
In the hope you get avian flu.
The nice folk in A&E will take care of you
Close your eyes, shhh, not a sound
I can barely see your tiny chest
Moving up and down
One thing they don't mention in the parenting book:
your love for them grows, the closer to dead they look